The Living Deadbeat

I knew this day would come. Using their irresponsibly twisted reasoning those naysaying vegans have taken yet another food item off the menu of life. Apparently now its amoral to eat things that look like happy little animals. The last time they tried to pull this was when Seamus O Sullivan found a potato shaped like a Teddy Bear. I believe we’re all familiar with THE IRISH POTATO FAMINE. Pinko commy life haters!

The Virgin Mary is such a slutty alien god monster.

Alan Dudley from Birmingham had this to say of the scientific breakthrough – “Screw you Universe! Om nom nom.”

(Mr Chainsaw and Dr. Deadbeat on holiday)

That bloody cretin (you know who you are…Mr. Chainsaw) has only gone and taken the last bloody needle from the haystack that broke the camel’s back in his never ending war on the day-to-day malignancy that is my life. On top of forcing me to go on holiday (all the way to Amsterdam to see a band I didn’t want to see) he twisted the knife in my back by booking a double room only three feet wide and four feet long. It had a window so small I couldn’t fit my hand out, no wardrobe and a disgusting pit of a communal bathroom. Oh ya, and it was on a bloody boat. It was like living in a very small sauna with bunk-beds and a man who remains naked for like an hour and half after his shower. Would it kill you to put on some underpants you bastard!?

(Artists impression of what Mr.Chainsaw might look like actually wearing underpants)

Until next time old friend.

“We just had nothing in common.”

Over the past several months, North Korea has tested a number of short-, medium- and long-range missiles. This much we already knew. What we did not know however was about the development of crazy flying super-asians!

This picture, from the wall-street journal, was taken last thursday and illustrates the awesome power of these Korean superman. These East-Aisan monster’s can, at the very least, fly and break ceramic (maybe even porcelain) tiles with their forheads. Scientists believe these “super-powers” to be linked to either “severe radiation poisoning”, “an inovative super-soldier serum” or “creepy Dracula magic”

I for one welcome our Korean overlords and our avian super-bretheren!

Mr. Chainsaw counter attacks Korea!

More menus should use the elipsis (the “…”). It gives the food service industry the dash of suspense it dearly needs.

Picture taken by “Dutch Mechanic” on http://topcultured.com/food/a-real-mans-soup-of-the-day/