The Living Deadbeat

“[November Second]. I gotta get in shape. Too much sitting has ruined my body. Too much abuse has gone on for too long. From now on there will be 50 push-ups each morning, 50 pull-ups. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of my body. From now on will be total organization. Every muscle must be tight.”

I don’t have a pull-up bar, and I don’t have a pill problem, but everything else that goes for Travis goes for me too. I’m thinking of getting back on the vegan wagon as well, provided I can find a source of protein that’s not soya-based. I have had enough of feeling like crap all the time, and dairy food, factory-meat and my 3 week absence from the gym are taking the hit for it. No more living like a pig.

(Obviously I’m not giving up alcohol).

Come on Arsene, while you may have been right about Eboue it’s pretty clear that Diaby is pants. I mean, seriously, what does he contribute? He constantly gives the ball away and the guy obviously can’t defend. Why even bother putting him in the team? Why not play Ramsey or Wilshire or someone else who can at least keep hold of the ball?

I know he wouldn’t be starting if Denilson was fit, but still, the whole arrangement is bullshit; Diaby is nowhere near good enough to play for Arsenal, and you surely know this. Even with a Champions’ League-tie, De Rossi would be a decent buy in January, and then Song would have a good defensive mid to learn alongside. You know it makes sense…

Goddamnit, I am drunk…

Some academics in Ottawa have published a paper that seeks to determine, scientifically, which side would prevail in a human-zombie showdown.

From the BBC:

In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity’s only hope is to “hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often”.

They added: “It’s imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else… we are all in a great deal of trouble.”

Adoresble/Ignorant Pillock

I knew this day would come. Using their irresponsibly twisted reasoning those naysaying vegans have taken yet another food item off the menu of life. Apparently now its amoral to eat things that look like happy little animals. The last time they tried to pull this was when Seamus O Sullivan found a potato shaped like a Teddy Bear. I believe we’re all familiar with THE IRISH POTATO FAMINE. Pinko commy life haters!

The Virgin Mary is such a slutty alien god monster.

I saw this for the first time this evening. It’s extraordinary, and there’s really no way it should work, but somehow it does. Mr. Malkovich is a very fine actor, and the rest of the cast is solid too (although the Cameron Diaz character takes some getting used to; she’s very much playing against type in this movie). I don’t really have anything else to write about it. Just try to see it, if you haven’t already; it’s very rare to see quirky film ideas realised this well.

Last night a friend of mine told me that Muse is a heavier band than Nine Inch Nails, or at least that Muse can be a heavier band, when Matt Bellamy puts his mind to it. As a NIN fan I was offended, but arguing the point proved to be surprising difficult. How exactly are you supposed to define ‘heavy’; is it simply a measure of album production, or does it derive from multiple factors, such as lyrical content, song keys, etc..?

It seems to me that defining ‘heaviness’ in terms of distortion levels is pretty useless. I love countless bands who ramp up the distortion now and again, but who I would never consider as ‘heavy’ bands. A good example is Brand New. Brand New pile on the gain for segments of some songs, but they’re very much an indie band and whatever dark songs they have are mostly done in a stripped down fashion.

‘Dark’ is a useful word in this discussion. Nine Inch Nails is a pretty dark band by most standards. Trent Reznor has released very few upbeat songs over the past 20 years, and the names of his Halo releases hint at their bleak content: Pretty Hate Machine, Broken, The Downward Spiral, and so on. To me, ‘heaviness’ is more than simply turning it up to eleven. Throwing more distorted guitar into the mix on a Katy Perry track will not make it ‘heavy’.

I’m very hungover so this is argument is not nearly making as much sense as I would like, but I hope I’m getting the point across. Muse may, on occasion, knock out a heavy song, but they don’t sound like a heavy band to me. Matt Bellamy whines quite a lot and his voice doesn’t lend itself well to heavy songs. I’m not saying they’re a bad band, but calling them a heavy band is quite a stretch, and claiming that they’re a heavier band than Nine Inch Nails is just ridiculous. If Matt Bellamy ever writes something even nearly as dark as The Downward Spiral I’ll be extremely surprised.